If you’ve ever asked your child what’s wrong and been met with a shrug, silence, or a frustrated “I don’t know,” you’re not alone.
Many parents come to us feeling confused and worried. Their child is melting down over small things, acting out at school, withdrawing from family, or suddenly regressing in ways they can’t explain. They may feel guilt for not knowing how to help—or fear that they’re either overreacting or missing something important.
What’s often misunderstood is this:
Children don’t always communicate distress with words. They communicate through behavior and play.
That’s where play therapy comes in.
“They Won’t Tell Me What’s Wrong”—A Common Parent Experience
Parents often notice changes before they understand them. A child who once seemed easygoing now has frequent meltdowns. A previously confident child becomes clingy or anxious. A child who used to talk freely suddenly shuts down.
Naturally, parents try to talk it through. They ask questions. They reassure. They problem-solve.
And still—nothing.
This doesn’t mean your child is being difficult, defiant, or closed off on purpose. It usually means they don’t yet have the developmental ability to identify, organize, and express what they’re feeling.
For children, especially younger ones, feelings often show up before language does.
Why Children Communicate Through Play Instead of Conversation
Adults process emotions largely through words. Children process experiences differently.
A child’s brain is still developing the systems needed for:
Emotional awareness
Cause-and-effect thinking
Verbal expression of complex internal states
When children experience stress, transitions, or overwhelming emotions, their capacity for verbal communication can shrink even further. This is especially true when they feel unsafe, pressured, or confused by their own reactions.
Play, on the other hand, is natural and accessible. Through play, children can:
Reenact experiences they don’t fully understand
Express fear, anger, sadness, or confusion symbolically
Regain a sense of control and mastery
Communicate without needing the “right” words
Play isn’t a distraction from healing.
It’s often how healing begins.
When Behavior Is the Message
Parents often search online because of behaviors—not diagnoses or therapy types.
They might notice:
Intense emotional outbursts or frequent meltdowns
Aggression toward siblings, peers, or adults
Regression such as bedwetting, baby talk, or separation anxiety
Withdrawal, shutdown, or loss of interest in things they used to enjoy
School refusal, academic struggles, or frequent complaints of stomachaches or headaches
These behaviors can be alarming. They can also feel personal, exhausting, or confusing.
What’s important to understand is that behavior is often a child’s way of communicating unmet needs, overwhelming feelings, or internal conflict.
Rather than asking, “Why are they acting like this?”
A more helpful question is, “What might they be trying to tell me?”
Play therapy helps answer that question.
What Play Therapy Actually Is (And What It’s Not)
One of the biggest misconceptions about play therapy is that it’s “just playing.”
In reality, play therapy is a structured, evidence-based approach designed specifically for children. The therapy space is intentionally set up with materials that support emotional expression, regulation, and problem-solving.
In a play therapy session, a trained therapist:
Observes how a child plays, chooses toys, and tells stories
Notices themes related to safety, power, fear, connection, or loss
Gently guides the process to support emotional growth and regulation
Helps the child build internal skills without forcing conversation
Sessions may include:
Figurines or imaginative play
Art, drawing, or sensory activities
Games that reveal frustration tolerance, flexibility, or self-esteem
Movement or storytelling
To an outside observer, it may look simple. But beneath the surface, the therapist is helping the child make sense of their internal world in a way that feels safe and natural.
“But What If My Child Won’t Talk at All?”
This is one of the most common concerns parents bring into the first appointment.
The reassurance is simple and important:
Children do not need to talk for play therapy to be effective.
Some children talk a lot during sessions. Others talk very little, especially at first. Both are completely okay.
In play therapy:
Silence is respected
Expression is not forced
Trust is built over time
Often, children who “won’t talk” outside of therapy begin to open up gradually—not because they’re pushed, but because they feel understood without pressure.
Sometimes, words come later. Sometimes, the most meaningful work happens without them.
How Play Therapy Helps Children Feel Safe Enough to Heal
Many children come into therapy carrying emotions they don’t fully understand. They may feel overwhelmed, ashamed, scared, or confused by their own reactions.
Play therapy focuses first on emotional safety.
When a child feels safe, they can:
Explore feelings without fear of getting in trouble
Practice coping skills in a supported environment
Learn to recognize and regulate emotions
Build confidence and self-understanding
As emotional safety grows, behavior often begins to shift naturally. Parents may notice:
Fewer meltdowns
Improved communication
Increased emotional awareness
Better regulation at home or school
Not because the child was “fixed,” but because they were finally understood.
The Role of Parents in the Play Therapy Process
Another common concern parents have is whether therapy means they’ve done something wrong.
It doesn’t.
Play therapy is not about blaming parents. It’s about supporting the whole family system.
Parents are often involved through:
Regular check-ins with the therapist
Guidance on how to respond differently to behaviors at home
Support in understanding what their child’s behavior may be communicating
Tools to strengthen connection and emotional safety
Many parents report that play therapy helps them feel more confident and less helpless—not because they suddenly have all the answers, but because they’re no longer guessing alone.
When to Consider Play Therapy for Your Child
There is no single “right” reason to seek play therapy. Often, it’s a combination of factors.
Parents may consider play therapy when:
Behaviors persist despite time, structure, or support
A child has experienced a major change such as divorce, loss, a move, or school transition
Emotional reactions seem intense or out of proportion
A child struggles to explain what they’re feeling
A parent’s intuition says something isn’t quite right
Seeking support doesn’t mean something is “seriously wrong.”
It often means you’re paying attention.
Why Play Therapy Can Be Especially Helpful During Life Transitions
Children are deeply affected by changes, even when adults believe those changes are manageable or positive.
Transitions such as:
Divorce or family restructuring
Changes in school or academic expectations
Loss of a loved one
Trauma or unexpected events
can disrupt a child’s sense of safety and predictability.
Play therapy gives children a space to process these experiences at their own pace—without needing to explain them in adult terms.
Why Families Choose Harvest Counseling & Wellness
At Harvest Counseling & Wellness, we believe children deserve support that meets them where they are—not where adults expect them to be.
Our play therapists are trained to:
Understand child development and emotional expression
Create a safe, welcoming environment for children who struggle to talk
Support parents with clarity, compassion, and guidance
Address concerns related to behavior, trauma, family transitions, and school stress
We work with families across Argyle, Denton, and the greater DFW area, offering child-centered counseling that honors each child’s unique way of communicating and healing.
If your child can’t put their feelings into words, you’re not failing—and they’re not broken. They may simply need a different language.
And play is often where that language begins.
